Low Self-Esteem. Home-schooled. No friends. Lives unemployed with wealthy mother and elderly grandmother. Father died of a heart attack when he was 12. Never leaves home. Will inherit a fortune when he turns 30. Mother is concerned for his well-being. Short-tempered, withdrawn. Almost attacked the Mother. Stopped short of punching her. Grandmother insisted on these sessions.
lyrics
(:09) Gone is my serenity
My sense of dignity
I’m your stability
(:31) Don’t project your anger onto me
Because you pay me such a handsome fee
Our time here is fully guaranteed
(:57) For a few dollars more I’m pretty sure I can ease your mind
All it takes is what we call, “search and ye shall find”
Relax and calm yourself for we have loads of time
Then tell me how you came to be stuck in this bind
(1:19) I can’t say, but I know…it sucks! It sucks, sucks! It sucks! It sucks, sucks!
Wherever I go… They. Are. All. Looking at me!!
They. Just. Stare. I don’t know why I care. Is it the clothes I wear that earns their glare?
(1:52) Settle down. I think I know what I can do to help.
Lay down now, let me inside. I have a small surprise.
Lying still, breathe nice and slow and I will do the rest.
Getting sleepy, can’t you tell that you’ve been hypnotized?
(2:20) My voice is soothing…it takes you under
It brings you down and makes things clear
Please don’t worry, you’re unencumbered
You’re safe with me, nothing to fear
As you’re dreaming, I’m left to wonder
What makes you tick, what cranks your gears?
Control your being, it’s mine to plunder
You have no choice, you will adhere
(3:19) Invading voices inside my brain
Speaking whispers, am I insane?
Telling me I’m dumb, saying that I’m plain
I’m not good enough, that I’m mundane
(4:04) Shut the fuck up! Leave me alone!
Get the fuck out! These thoughts are not my own
(4:30) On the count of four
Wake up on the floor
Remember just before?
Insecure no more
(4:40) Fuck you I’m still aware
How could you even dare?
To pry and peel me bare
And see it all, how’s that fair?
(5:02) I just gave you
A gift beyond compare
Fuck your insecurities!
They’re no longer there
(6:19) You broke inside my head
I fixed your broken mind
They’re grounds you should not tread
I left no stone behind
(6:40) Why do you think, that you come here and see me every week?
To peek and analyze what it is that makes you weak
I know, but you went too far and you’re not the only freak
I’ll seek, to end your life, hush now, don’t you speak…
credits
from Mental Truancy,
released September 23, 2022
Music Written by Matthew Grosse, Jeremy Arnold, Luke Portugal, Jeremy Barragan - Lyrics by Mark David
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